i did it? you ask.....YEAH RIGHT!!...i didnt have the chance...

the conversation was weird...not really weird just not the right time...

so i didnt...i couldnt...

not the right time...

maybe today...maybe tomorrow...i was really ready last night...

but ill give it time...

okay im off to do my laundry...its 750am!!! can you believe this???!!

i didnt get to bed til about 3am!!! oh my goodness...

wow...ive been feeling like this thing i have going on is slowly coming to an end...

i just feel like i need to say something...i donno if me saying something will change anything...will it change our relationship??...will it make it worst? or make things better??...i donno...

I KNOW I KNOW...IM ALWAYS SOO VAGUE ABOUT THINGS ON MY BLOG...

well okay....back to what i was saying...i want to say something to "this person" but i dont know how it will be taken...will it be too much for them...i donno...i wanted to say it the other night..but i was scared....lately ive been feeling alone...i know i shouldnt feel so alone..but i do...

will i have the courage to speak?? i donno..i hope so...tonight is the night...

the worst that can happen is that i go to bed feeling reaalllly bad lol oh well...but on the other hand...they will think the same...and i will go to bed with this weight (not that its a bad weight lol) lifted off my shoulders!!!!

night :)

ps...ill tell you how it went in the morning!!

so im loving my job...im a seller on ebay now...

check me out...

my ebaystore!! FOREVERNAYLA!!!!

i really enjoy doing this...i guess because im compulsive lol...

but anyway...i love it...and im making some money...and it has really made me alittle happier...



so check me out sometimes...my name on ebay is forevernayla!!

well guys the hot days are over!! lol my air conditioner is now working...
i get sooo much joy out of the little things in life..
you know like walking into a cool house...when ive been outside all day!!
its great...


well lets see..whats been going on with me..nothing really...

me and my friend krystal have been having a really weird relationship lately...seems like she is being really needy lately...so i told her what someone told me...we are spending too much time together lol...

she kinda got upset...said if i were a "real friend" i would understand that she is in a bad position and needs support right now...well...im soo over the drama lately...well this is the "back story"...

krystal and i used to be "ace boon coons" lol..and we used to do everything together...everything...i would leave work..and she would pick me up...just to hang...well after i got pregnant..she was alittle put off by it..meaning..."i would no longer be her ace...you know to do things with"...i would be "in the house" with a baby...and being a "mom"...well fine by me..is what i said..and we didnt talk for the longest time...sooo ummm....she gets together with someone..they are in a semi serious relationship...well come to find out...i went on a date with this person lol...i didnt know she was dating the guy..but lol oh well...so somehow...she found out me and this fool went on one date...and tried to be sneaky and i guess catch me in a lie...so she called me one night..and asked what had i been doing lately..."wow..just outta no where like that she calls me...after months of not talking because i had a baby! bitch lol"....i was suprised...we talked for hours..i told her about some guy i went on a date with..you know the guy she dated....who made me feel like a piece of meat....you know right after i had kpp..not right after..but time isnt that important right now...so i had these huuuge breasts..well yeah i got some big ones lol but man right after i had kpp..whoah...headlight central lol...they were like double the size lol and popping out of whatever shirt i had on...lol...well that night at dinner he couldnt keep his eyes off the boobies lol..so that was the last date......okay anyway...im telling k all this stuff about him..blah blah blah...and she goes..guess what....im dating the same guy...i said..wow..small world..."well you can have him..he didnt seem to be "my type" anyway"..and we all know what MY TYPE IS...lol yeah ive made some really big mistakes but i have ONLY ONE TYPE...well lol that was that..sooo after that some how..she started calling me more...we started hanging out more..i think to keep tabs on me lol from dating her guy lol..but like i said...she can have him lol...

so fast forward...now its like we are back to the old hanging out days...kpp loves her lol...i think he loves women with long hair lol...you know the "high yellah helfas (southern ghetto slang lol) skin big boobie type lol like his momma...lol...as soon as he sees her..he smiles..its kinda weird because he doesnt see her that often..but he knows her...

okay anywho...we are hanging out alot lately..and well..that guy i talked about earlier..who i dated and now she got really serious about him...well...HE DUMPED HER...and i guess im her new shoulder to cry on...for about four months now...

she makes all her "other" friends mad...because of the way she is...you know the kind...geminis...she is a gemini...and her "other" friends dont know how to deal with her mix matched personality...you know..one day she's a social butterfly the next day she's a hermit in the house not answering any calls...well...i find myself okay with either..and i guess she has noticed that...and likes that about me...so she calls my house 24/7 now...and wants my help with everything..i guess i should shut up and be her friend...but man..i feel used lately...when we talk..its always about her..and her life...because you know.."you're a mother...you have no life" is what she told me...so ummm....yeah lol this friendship will come to an end pretty soon lol...i guess im just waiting on that big day lol...

okay..so i guess i did have something going on...



ooooooooooooooooooh yeah...i want to see "common!"...he is coming to cincinnati august 4th!!!!!

i guess i should be grateful that im not homeless..or that kpp and i dont have to go without food...or that we have plenty clean clothes to wear...shoot and plenty clothes to wash! lol...

so i wont complain tonight that my airconditioner doesnt work...well it works...my little brother just noticed that the cord was burnt...so i wont plug it in!!

so yeah...i wont complain! lol...i reeeally want to..because im sooooo

HOT NATURED! (the words of a southern woman lol)...

so me and kpp got in the bed tonight...well...we took baths first...and got in the bed...with the fan directly on us!...and tried to sleep...he tossed and turned for a bit...before he dozed off...and me...well...by the time i finally got to sleep...

MY PHONE RINGS!!!

now if you know me..you know i hate to hear a phone ringing lol...ESPECIALLY WHEN IM SLEEPING!!!...oh my goodness...im just glad it was my "other mother" and not someone else...OR THEY WOULDVE GOTTEN AN EARFULL!! of some choice curse words lol...(but if you know me..you know not to call me that late anyways...(except corey!!)...)

well so now im up...its 1235am!!...and im trying not to complain about my airconditioner...when PRAISE THE LORD!!!...ITS STARTS RAINING!!...oh my goodness...

i guess it was the lords way of letting me know when im not complaining about the little things...he will send a cool breeze my way...

well tonight (this morning) i just want to say...

thank you LORD!

night :)

lol so kpp got a "REAL" hair cut today...lol it was kinda cute at first...but now i hate it lol!!!!

so here goes...






and this is my poor childs hair lol...awwwww...


you all know what he looked like before lol..so we wont give the before and after...

BUT WOW...HE LOOKS REALLY DIFFERENT LOL...when i got him out of dad's car today..i was like wow...he isnt SAMPSON! ANYMORE!!!



oh well...I CANT WAIT TIL IT GROWS BACK!!!

awww..yesterday was the 1st birthday of my good friends daughter...PNA...she is soo adorable...and kpp had such a great time at the party...i got a chance to catch up with some people i hadnt seen in a while and make some new friends....

well me and "c"(pna's mom) talked about kpp's party and about pna's party...and we've decided that the 2nd bday parties will be at some where other than our homes....after you spend on decorations...party supplies...partying gifts lol...cake...food...clean up...cook...you couldve went to some other place lol...we both agreed that the 1st birthday too young for kids to go someplace..but wow...these places like chuck e cheese or gameworks...they make it worth coming to their facilities to party...

well kpp was one of only two boys there lol...and wow...ive heard people say that boys and girls are totally different but damn!....boys kinda terrorize things lol...kpp was on the stairs..messing with the radio...throwing ballooons...walking around lol...while the girls...sat quietly and colored lol...the other little boy...lennox....he was soo mean! lol...messing with the radio...hitting folks...hahaha...well just his aunt...because she was messing with him lol....but it was just really weird to see...and "c" wants a boy! lol...ha!...YEAH RIGHT...

you know i wouldnt trade kpp for the world....but being around those girls makes me appreciate my rough and tough son...the girls were kinda BORING!! LOL...

okay so of course i took lots of pics...



and you remember i talked about my great trip to columbus...well here is kpp...in his izod lacoste...he is soo freaking adorable lol

i have this feeling in my stomach...at first i thought it was pms...but after talking to a friend lol i now know otherwise lol...

so im reading my email today..and im a member of this poets site...well these are the two poems...i thought it was intresting that i would get them today lol...

Could We Capture What Was
by Hope

I am still at the same place
Again wishing upon a star
Hoping dreams come true
As I pondered where you are

Gazing as bright stars glow
Each one sparkling above
The same wishes I repeat
Whispered with words of love

Within every wish I whisper
Its your touch I still yearn
I am so lonely without you
Would my dream ever return

Every loving wish I conveyed
As the stars shone around
I'm wishing with all my heart
A love I lost can still be found

Hoping my wishes will travel
Where loving flames ignite
Could we capture what was
In reaching my dream tonight

With Love From Cincinnati
by Loving Erea

I sit here watching the sun’s demise
Into the western sky
Missing your sweet blue loving eyes
As the afternoon goes by

Though only hours away from you
My heart is still in pain
Your love and tenderness, I miss
As I strive for monetary gain

Only months ago I would have been
Happy to be away
Until you found me and took me on
To love another day

The full moon rises, I stop to stare
Such a pretty sight
But not as beautiful my wonderful dear
Were you with me tonight

I miss you as if I would never know
Your loving arms again
Yet comfort lies deep in my soul
You are there within
I have never met a soul mate before
And never will again
I love you my sweet, more
Than anyone has ever been before

FUNNY HUH?!!!! LOL...the irony which is my life lol....GOOD NIGHT!!! ;)

yes im going to bed this early..i have noooo life lol...

im watching the movie butterfly effect..and wow..it makes me think....

if i had the power to go back in time and change things that have happen...would i?...

some things i would love to change...but when i think about it...if i change one thing...everything changes...

so would i?

no.....

when i think about my life...its not bad...lol...i think the things that ive been through have made me the person that i am......

and i love this me...
i love this life i lead...

thank you lord...:)

damn...this entire week...ive just been up waaay too late...i cant sleep...its wild....

well let me try again...

night... :)

awww i had the best weekend!!!

like i felt sooo good...just the atmosphere...not having to worry about anything..laughing...it was really nice...

thanks to pops, lee, jay, and especially jb...

jb is sooo good to me...always has been...

we went to see fantastic four on friday and did some shopping at easton mall...( in columbus)

then went to pops house and chilled out...pops talks sooo loud...its soo hilarious...jb says its because he cant hear...i just think he has a big mouth on top of not being able to hear lol...

its weird i was telling jb last night...that i felt really weird being around him...like how we were..it was nice...

i donno what happened over the weekend but something happened...i feel different...happier...and i donno...im kinda scared...and im kinda at the point where i want a change...i need a change..i need that soul changing thing.....but i want it all to be right...i have to be patient....

i want everything to be right this time.....i just cant do things like i used to...i cant just pop up and make major decisions in minutes...like i used to..i have kpp now...and he is the life of the party...so if things arent good by him...they arent good...

ooooooooooooh man!! my weekend was sooo damn good...man i donno what to think about it all...im alittle scared really...the things that happened...im scared...i want to say something about it...i want to say how i feel...but i wont...i will just sit back and wait til the time is right...until its time to say it....

its funny because i dont even think he felt me when i tapped on his hand lol...i wonder if he did...lol :)

new pics of the boy!

wow...today i braided his hair..i think it came out pretty cute lol...so now he is the background on my cellphone lol...