im having urges

i keep getting myself into weird situations....i think i do this because i am having some urges i cant seem to get resolved....lol...well hell i dont really need to be doing that lol...

so i put myself into very ummmm naughty situations lol...i never actually do anything...but it only leaves me wanting to...and the other person hating me for leading them on lololol...but damn...im a scorp and i cant help it...that damn beast!!....if im not getting it...i at least have to play around and act like ill do it lololol...

oh well...i really just want to go ahead and do it....but i want to find the right person....not just a fling you know...



okay i need a break from that....here is something...

have you ever been accussed of cheating before??
if so? did it make you want to cheat??
after all the accusations..did you go ahead and cheat?

okay im back to the topic that i started out with...URGES...



okay so the urges are still around.....they come over me every once and a while...and im really trying but cant fight it...im weak as hell...i try to be a good girl...you know...wait...but damn....this is getting really hard lol..no pun intended lol...

so ill just say this...im waiting...im patient...and the day will come :)




i always said the next person i got with i wanted the relationship to be easy...but damn it seems like even the folks ive dated are afraid of themselves...i guess thats why i wait...wait to really get it going...for real get it going...

yeah its like they are afraid to be emotional...afraid of what someone will think...i dont know about you...but i respect people more if they are open and honest...if they are their true self...

take ummm "hijinks" for example...i love him because he knows he is a jackass lol and he shows it everyday lol...and i tell him everyday lol that he is...he knows that he is mean and i understand that lol....mean bastard!!! lol but see i laugh about it and we keep it moving....i hope you are reading this!!!

take ummm "corey" he is very unorganized...his thoughts; his home...and i love him too...because he isnt afraid to say it...he isnt afraid to come across as being unorganized...he isnt afraid to slow down and think...or to clean up lol......he knows whats wrong with him and he says it...

but damn other folks lol...they dont understand nor do they get it...just be you...be your true self...and if people like you..they like you...if they dont they dont...at least you are being honest...and true...

lol take me...i know im a lightweight mean "b" lol...but i can be a sweetie too...well when i fell loved anyway lol...i mean when i feel something i show it...and when i think something i say it...so there is never any doubt in the people's mind around me whats going on...i used to loose out alot because i never said how i felt...but now...i think my good friends respect me for it..love me for my honest...and cherish my emotions...lol i said my good friends...not you freaks i hang with lol

and yeah being myself you know the all emotional luuvelyladdy has caused me some pain...but you know what...i love me...and usually folks will stay around because they love me...or like me lol...and when they leave...i keep moving...

i just wish people around me would be more honest about themselves..and not afraid to be who they really are...

i guess i shouldnt really even care...i should let it go..and leave them alone...dont take their phone calls, text or emails lol but i love freaks lol i guess i love to complain about them lol...



night :)