Thursday, May 19, 2005

the box thing...

so i was in a session today....and "THE BOX" came up...and i was told that maybe "THE BOX" has something to do with my current situation...

like maybe im holding on to "THE BOX"...wanting what was in "THE BOX"....wanting that feeling....that feeling that i get when i read the things in the box...the emotions i have when i see the box...just the love...the love that i feel like i will never have again...that love that i will never share with another person...just the openness...it seems like after "THE BOX"...i have never meet a better friend....just a friend...not lover not anything like that...just friend....i donno..

i guess im looking for my best friend again...i guess im looking for what i used to have...but is it fair??...is it fair to the people around me...is it fair to compare others to "THE BOX"...?? its not...but i cant help it...damn im really fucked up lol...but doesnt everyone go through this??...doesnt everyone compare?....i just have this person that i compare EVERYONE to....and its bad...and i think thats why im emotionally alone right now...

i guess when "THE BOX" is empty...(which i could never do lol)...is when i will give myself again...but if i never empty the box...will i be emotionally alone forever??...

damn its crazy...im holding to something that it really crazy...or is it?? its like...did my box get emptied a long time ago?? are they holding on to "their box" as tight as im holding on to mine??

because is forever really forever??....i donno...

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