can i really say happy anniversary?? i guess i can....its my blog huh?....i was just thinking about love and love lost tonight...when you loose someone sooo close to you..what do you do..someone that you loooooved sooooo damn much...can you ever "get over it"?.....do you ever "get over it"??....i donno...i truly dont think you do...not when that person meant sooo much to you and to the people around you...
and i guess thinking about that makes me think about all the people who ive moved away from....all the people i loooove soo much...i guess your lives seemed to take different paths...you stop talking on daily basis...and when you do talk...you dont really know whats going on with them...and they could care less about whats going on with you....you just grown apart...well this seems to be my situation...me and my friends and family have sooo much going on with us on a daily basis...raising kids...taking care of other family..having a career..that you really never sit down and talk...never really "catch up"...and i guess when i think about it...i dont know much about them...or at least what they do now...its really kinda sad...is it my fault?? should i call more?? ask more questions?? if i do that...people always think im trying to be "nosy" or asking for some other reason...(blackmail lol)...but in all honesty im just trying to "catch up"...just trying to see whats going on with them...
my friend..my bestest person ever...we've seemed to have lost contact...we talk online maybe 2 or even 3 times a week..but the conversations are never deep...never anything worth talking about...really...just light conversations...i miss the past...i guess i think about the past too much...but some nights i want our old conversations back...i know i know...it will never happen...i pray some nights that it does...i pray that we get close again..that we spend hours on the net or phone just talking like we used to....but then on other nights i pray that my heart heals faster...that my heart doesnt long for our "old conversations"...long for what we thought we had.......
oh well..i guess it was never truly meant to be...because if it was...i wouldnt be talking about this right now....i guess loved didnt capture them the way it captured me...its crazy to think some days though...they may say they still love me...but man....some nights i just dont feel it...but i guess its time to move on...HUh?...i guess...
love is such a strong word...and i just wish and pray that one day we can at least be friends...the kind of friends that share lots of things...not those little things that you share with everyone..but things that make you the person that you are....
i guess im feeling a little sad tonight...its an anniversary that i hate.....but its one that doesnt make me "as" sad as it has in the past...life will go on..shit it has moved on...with or without me being on board.....but i guess...i will be a better person for the love...the love i received....
and im constantly thanking GOD for kpp (my son!)...he is the best thing in my life...and im just happy that i can see his little face tonight...that he makes me smile...when i cant look within to do it for myself...GOD has truly given me a gift that im soo grateful for...and i just thank HIM...thank HIM for my little twin...i can watch him grow...something i could never do...
thank you GOD!... :)
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