Saturday, February 05, 2005

FUCKSTRATION and the Occupation

I always thought I’d be alright. I had my old jill scott and john legend playing...(you know the ever so wonderful blissful music i just cant get enough of), I had a movie and a magazine, I had a rabbit (some of you know what I’m talking about), I had special oils, I had an endless supply of batteries, and if all else failed I had my own two hands...But still I suffered. All the usual solutions just weren’t getting it. You know why? It wasn’t JUST sex I craved it was companionship. You see, I worked hard everyday like a computerized slave and I oftentimes didn’t do right by myself. My time was spent between dealing with my job and then with the everyday dramas of my wonderful but crazy friends and family. I didn’t, as the expression goes, “do me” (well I was doing me. . .but you catch my drift). And with all this and the daily rigor or maintaining a decent lifestyle, I didn’t have time for a relationship (or so I thought). But times got hard and I got lonely . . .so I've decided to take time out to date. My attempts seem to be failing horribly, not because of my lack of personality, or crazy looks lol, but the lack of prospects in my city. And as for those potential love interests . . . they, like me, are too consumed with being successful in their current careers to have time to be an active participant in a relationship. Isn’t it ironic that the men I find interesting are unavailable for exactly the same qualities (their drive and ambition) that caught my attention in the first place. Needless to say, because of this I LIVE in a perpetual state of FUCKSTRATION.

In examining all this I was forced to think of my mom and dad. By the time they were my age (29) shit they had been in and out of relationships and married by my age....i mean people in my family...fell in love and got married...I have friends who have similar stories about people they know. The average age of marriage a generation ago seems to have been in the early twenties. Today, I work with a slew of unmarried 30 and 40 year olds. It seems that for the sake of having a successful career, or just making money...we put off intimate relationships, and marriage to previously unheard of ages. As a result, societies finest . . .the ones who are probably the most qualified to have children, are the least likely to do so. Where does this leave our future generations? I don’t want to even think about it. Anyway, I said all this to say . . . don’t spend your life working for someone else, or trying to achieve unrealistic goals. Realize that even though success is nice. . .it's NOTHING without someone to share it with. We are humans, not robotic slaves. We need companionship, we need to socialize. . we need each other. Understand that it’s very unlikely that you will find your soul mate in the next cubicle. . .or even in the next building....get out of that office and make your presence in the world known....ive had to learn that if i dont search for him i wont find him...Let’s all go out and converse, laugh a little, and just have an all out good time. We may not find Mr. or Miss Right but we might just have fun...or find the best friend we thought we could never have... :)