....so i have this small situation....my friend...we've known each other for a while now...and he asked if he could come to visit for chirstmas today...read this..umm what shall we call him??....umm "mr. heat"...i say that because sometimes when he smiles at me i get alittle heated on the inside...but its weird because we have been friends for so long...i think i smile these days because im lonely...and he has been there for me lately...okay here goes...
Late night December 24th Christmas Eve
mr heat: can i visit you for christmas?
me: ummm its still alot snow here...
mr heat: i can indure some snow to see you and kpp.
me: smiling, you know the one (teeth showing) weelllllll...if you want....
mr. heat: well bet...ill be there in the morning...
me: uuummm...my brother is still here...and ummmm...the roads are still bad...ummm...and are you sure?..ummmmm ummmm...
mr. heat: STOP!...if you dont want me to come just say it...
me: no its not that...i just want you to be sure you can come...
mr heat: im sure...ill be there in the morning...
me: okay what time? i think im nervous...because i havent seen him in a couple of weeks...i think im nervous because damn im alittle frisky today...and ummmm i think im just nervous to see him period...
mr heat: ummm about 8am...i knoooow you'll be up.
me: yep..you know i get up at 5am..work day or not!
mr. heat: bet. ill see you then.
did i just say that? did i just say come to my house for christmas lol...i cant believe i said that...wow...i must be out of my mind...i think it may be a good thing though...because we wont be alone...he wont want to "talk" you know....i wont look at him too much...he says when i look at him he gets nervous...lol...its kinda crazy...we are like really best friends these days...and i dooooont want to even go there with him...i dont want to mess it up...so good...christmas...my little brother is still here..so cool...he will come in and we will talk for a few..then he will leave...and that will be that...
Decemeber 25th!!!Christmas Day..TEXT message conversation at 430am
mr heat: merry christmas...we are still on for this morning right?
me: merry kissmas lol got that from a friend...and yep...
mr heat: last night you sound nervous or something...
me: who me? naww..
mr heat: if you were dont be...and you know i know you...well ill see you at 7am since you already up lol
me: okay see you then..
TEXT message conversation at 6am..
mr heat: u up?
mr heat: damn you were right. its cold as hell out here.
me: seee i told you...you still on your way?
mr heat: yep. u know it!
me: dont talk ghetto lingo. its not becoming.
mr heat: aiight holla hahaha
me: nooo stop that.
mr heat: okay so ill see you in about 30 minutes.
mr heat: man i havent seen u in a while. this will be good.
me: okay man stop that. you makin me blush.
mr heat: ok & when i get there dont do that stare thing with the eyes thing you do.
me: what the heck are you talking about?
mr heat: im calling you this texting is going to kill me..
me: ok...ooooh he better be glad its christmas because i hatte talking on the phone!!!
mr heat calling
me: what do i do?
mr heat: dont play dumb that eye thing you do..probably to all men you see.
me: oooh dont make me mad today lol
mr heat: i wont...but you know what im talking about..dont do it..
me: ok whatever.
mr heat: because seeing that i havent had any in a while i might have to jump your bones!
me: did he just say that? nooo he didnt...so thats what this is about? lol......you're funny...
mr heat: im sorry..lol...i can tell you didnt find that funny.
mr heat: so what will we do this morning.
me: maybe ill cook you some breakfast.
mr heat: okay. thats a bet.
me: stop saying that lol...it reminds me of an ex boyfriend..he always says it.
mr heat: and?
me: and i know you dont want to be compaired to an ex lol.
mr heat: your lame ass dudes! hell naw.
me: ooh no you didnt...
mr heat: yes i did...
me: okay im getting off the phone..you are wasting my minnnuuutes!!! lol...smiling
mr heat: okay ill see you in a few..
me: oooh black people always got to be either early or late...damn...i smell good..but DAMN THIS HAIR...lol remember its one thing i love and hate about myself....okay forget it...he is here...lets just make the best of it...
me: hiiiiii......smiling...and i guess doing the eye thing...because he looked at me with a mean face
mr heat: yeah you better stop that...hiiiiiii!!!
me: ooooh dont hug me too tight you smell really good..lol
mr heat: where is everyone...
me: man its 645am lol my brother just got in the bed...and kpp is still sleeping.
mr heat: what was he doing til 645...
me: you know kids...i donno.
mr heat: it smells good in here...the food is for me?
me: yep...you know i love to cook these days lol...
mr heat: yeah right...let me see...
me: come come..
mr heat: damn im hungry that drive is a mutha...
me: okay lets eat...
so we eat...we eat and eat lol...i try to take as long as possible because im feeling alittle weird today....and besides i havent seen him for a while so he can talk my head off....
mr heat: damn this is the ballpit...i thought it would be different.
ball pit...the gift "dad" bought for kpp...this bus that you have to blow up and it has balls in it.....umm this thing here....
me: yeah i did too..he likes it..
mr heat: so whats been up.
me: huh? since when?
mr heat: since i donno??
me: we talk everyday.
mr heat: i guess its just different now that im in your face.
me: yeah maybe but nothing really just living life...
mr heat: well the food was good. who taught you how to cook grits..
me: the box lol..
mr heat: stop that..
mr heat: the eye thing.
me: im not doing the eye thing...im watching this stupid parade..
mr heat: dang when will kpp wake up...i havent seen him in a while...talking extremely louuud!!!i want to play..with this thing...
me: lol dont talk loud...because if you wake him up ill kill you...
mr heat: oook man...you stink
we just kinda sit around talking about floats on tv but not really about anything particular lol...its funny because when we arent together he can talk my head off...and me his...but not today...today was a day of chilling..today was a day of me watching tv and him watching me...why do guys do that...
me: stop it!!
mr heat: what man?
me: you watching me...and you need to stop.
mr heat: i like your hair
me: i know you do...
mr heat: so let me watch you.
me: noooo its annoying..
mr heat: you cant stop me.
me: so whats up with the one girl? haha that will shut him up...that will make him stop watching me...that will make him wanna talk about something lol something but not "the girl" lol
mr heat: you are one mean scorp lol...
me: i know...so whats up
mr heat: i dumped her for you. and dont laugh because im serious
me: dont dump her..she was cute..and sweet...and i liked her..good for you
mr heat: i like you..and dont laugh
me: lololol...you know i laugh...you know i laugh at everything...im goofy
mr heat: i knooow man im being serious...what man do you know would brave this snow for you lol...
me: no one lol look who's here
mr heat: so what do you say?
mr heat: stop playing with me man.
me: im not...what do i say about what?
mr heat: getting together..me and you..
me: are you serious man.
mr heat: yep
me: dont be..i like this relationship how it is...what else could we do except have sex?
mr heat: i donno...okay i see im making you nervous so ill go lol...
mr heat: damn you putting me out like that lol
me: no but...you are kinda making me weird...
mr heat: IN THE LOOUUUD VOICEBYYYEEE KPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!
me: oooh you gonna get it...
kpp wakes up....ooooohhh awwwww ahhhhh!!! you know the baby crying thing....i get him..mr heat sees him...then
mr heat: okay ill see you guys later
mr heat: think about what i said...im serious man.
mr heat: im serious
mr heat: naw naw...if you have to think about if you want to be with me or not...then you really dont...
me: i dont have to think about it man...just go home...
mr heat: ill talk to you later on today..i have to go and be santa to my little sister...
me: okay tell her i said hi...
mr heat: yeah next year im wishing we will make it a family thing..you me and kpp.
me: maybe if you come back later it can be a family thing today... and i did the eye thing lol
mr heat: bye see you always playing with me..
okay so now what?
does he really want a relationship or just to sleep with me?
i dont know...he says he does but damn we have been friends for soo long...was friends before kpp came along lol...and now...you want to be together? you cant be serious? why are you just saying it now? why not like two months ago? why am i even talking about it? why not earlier...i dont get men...or am i just being weird about it all...i just want him for my friend...he is my confidant...he is the person i talk to about everything lol..and you know when you get together all that shit changes...you cant be completely honest in fear that you hurt the other persons feelings...you always have to have sex lol...which isnt a bad thing...but wow...whats the deal...should i or shouldnt i...i donno...he will call me later on and ask...and what will i say??
thats my small situation...cousin help me out??