where did those worms come from?????

...tonight i thought i would send a special friend a text message...and wow..i opened up a can of worms that i wasnt quite ready to deal with...but its good because i can go into the new year...FRESH....

ive finally figured myself out on alot of things...and im glad about it...i know what i need and want in relationships....be it frienships or loveships...and yeees i made that up lol...i know that i want a deep love and a special person to share it with..if not in 2005...then whenever they decides to show up...(ill be ready)...i know i need someone who is strong...a strong personality....someone who will stand up to me..and stand up for me...and stand by me and help me when things get rough....and love me with all my "bitchy"faults...and to watch me as i become the person i desire to be....

thats what i need...and it always seems like i fall into the the wrong hands..my heart falls into the wrong hands...im always being overly helpful to people...and before i know it lol they have more issues and problems then i thought i had...or people who love too much...or smother me too much...and i just want to scream for air...thats not to say i dont love them...but i cant manage...i cant figure out what they need or who they want and need me to be...so then im stuck...im stuck with this person loving me...and or me loving them...and my life not really progressing...

wow...thats me...thats been my past...and damn i dont want that to be my future...

i want 2005 to be better than 2004 relationship wise...friendships...loveships...and yeeeeees i keep saying that loland work relationships....i want to be honest in 2005...and let people know what i feel...and how they affect my life...and not always wait to cry about it later...i want to continue to grow and love...and continue to teach kpp that loving yourself is not a bad thing...its the best thing you can do for YOU.....

this is my mission for 2005 love...to love myself..and to love others...without fear or fault...something i was too afraid to do in 2004...and let that love shine threw me so when people meet me they know that not only am i strong and self confident...but im willing to love and be loved....

wow...thats a big task...but im up for it...and for those of you who have something to say


AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA....everyone thinks my boy is throwing the finger lol...i looooove this picture...