the other night i was talking about my dreams on my blog..and what i dream of becoming..and about me getting the packet for school..and maybe starting in spring...well tonight a friend asked me about it...i guess she has missed a couple of days of my wonderful intresting blog (hahaah)..well she asked why i hadnt shared this with her..and i donno...im secretive...i hate that about me...i am secretive because i hate rejection and want to be accepted...and i care too much of what people think of me.....like if i fill out all my paperwork then tell the special people in my life...all they can really say is cool...its my fear...to say out loud what i dream and what im passionate about and have someone come back and say...you sure? wow thats stupid..or for them to say im not smart or not a good person....but thats my fear..to not be accepted...its sad but true...
i guess i just want to find the person i can share everything with again...i used to feel like i found that in my ex...but now that we arent together...its kinda weird to share everything with him...i wish i could though...cause even if he didnt like something i dreamed or things i was passionate about...he was still supportive...and thats all i could ask for..but its like i dont want to feel that vunerable...it always makes me fall in love with him....and thats something i have to get over...
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