the weekend...

well i kinda sorta had a bad weekend...but as the days went on it got better :)...see making lemonade outta lemons lol..im goofy...

well i had to go to the hospital on friday night...ive had an ulcer for some time now and it started to really act up...my doctor told me maybe with the stress and not eating this week IIIII caused the flare up...so of course his prognosis was...STOP STRESSING...AND EAT SOMETHING AND drink some milk...

well i stopped stressing...even though my son went with his dad on saturday night...but i was really cool...its like wow...he was gone..i missed him..but i wasnt all sad like i was the first time..but okay...i stopped stressing..and once i filled out all my paperwork for school...that was off on my mind too...im just emotional i guess...i blame everything on being a scorpio..lol...i try to be easy when things happen in my life but...i always end up getting emotional or worrying too much...its sad because ive lost love like that...im trying to change it....and its crazy because if i dont have someone helping me i forget not to be so emotional...

well so saturday we just laid around...watching "LION KIIIINGG!!!" if i see that movie ooooonnne more time...lol...i will know alll the words lol...i was going to say scream lol but what would be the point...i would just scare my son and he would cry lol...and wants that...lol..

so saturday...my friends came over...and we watched dogville...some boring movie Nicole Kidman is in..and sat around and painted our toes...lol well i was the painter lol...but we did that all night and talked about men and women and how they are and how we are...and i just had a good time...it was nice and easy...then they went home...i went to sleep...and my friend was in town..and lol she is crazy...thats all i will say about her....crazy...some people dont realize or understand this "new me" as she called it..and i guess im tired of trying to explain it...i just see life different now..its not a game...not like im soo conscience or something...but after i found out i was carrying a child...life changed drastically for me...

and ummm...sunday..i did my normal..brunch with a friend...and shopping...and its soo nice to be with friends...to be myself...and talk and laugh and be me...if i feel something i can share it..without the backlash of what i think someone will say...or how they will look at me...its just nice to be around people who accept you in spite of allll your faults and iniquities (lol and i have many)...

came home and watched football...THE STEELERS!!! DAMMMMNNN!!! LOL..i couldnt believe that whooping my boys got last night...i just turned it off and went to the store lol...it was soo sad...lol

so that was my weekend...see i told you...it started off bad..but man i feel sooo blessed to have good friends...i dont have many but i cherish the ones i have...i know i could probably go more places and do more things with them...but lol i dont like to sometimes....i would rather stay home play on the net or walk with the baby and snap pictures...lol my time with him...and i think thats why we are friends..because they dont pressure me...they just let me be who i am...and they know if they ever need me ill be right there...well there in about 15 minutes lol...

but this weekend...it just showed me that i have really got a home here in Cincinnati...ive built these friendships that i thought i didnt have...and i was willing to give them all up for a move...but now i donno...its like my friends have become mine and kpps family...when i lost my other family after dad and i broke up i didnt really know what i would do...i knew it wouldnt ever be the same with them and after everything was all said and done i was right...its awkward...like i know they love me...but i always feel like im "just the grandson's mother" now...not like how they used to treat me...but in reality i AM JUST that "the grandson's mother" lol......well needless to say...my friends have become our family now...and its reasuuring to know i have someone beside me here in the city again...